spinning my Life's taLe

:D
narediscover ko lang what i like so much about the site.
so,
layas muna ako from here.

Today is the day
The worst day of my life
You're so content it hurts me
I don't know why
The cost of misery
Is at an all time high
I keep it hidden
Close to the surface in sight

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Could you be with him?
Or was it just a lie?
He doesn't catch you like I do
And you don't know why
You change your clothes and your hair
But I can't change your mind
Oh, I'm uninvited
So unrequited now

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Words screaming in my head
Why did you leave?
And I can't stop dreaming
Watching you and him
When it should have been
It should have been me

Today is the day
The worst day of my life

I'm learning to fall
I can't hardly breathe
When I'm going down don't worry about me
Don't try this at home
You said you don't see
I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me

Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)
(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)
Tell me that you know, it should have been me)
Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)
I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me
Whoa (I'm learning to fall, I can't hardly breathe)
(I don't want to know that you know, it should have been me)
Tell me that you know, it should have been me
Whoa (Don't try this at home, You said you don't see)
I don't want to know that you know, it should've been me


***shooters. nahawa na 'ata ako kina jec at mong. 'ata lang. ;)***

everytime i think i can walk away,
all i have to do is enter
and i'll forget all my reasons for walking out.

akala mo naman kung para saan.
first day ng school at narealize kong na-miss ko na naman ang la salle
kahit mga 2 weeks lang akong hindi pumasok.
may kaklase 'ata ako na kakilala sa lahat ng class.
yung iba medyo fineefeeling close ko na
para may sure kausap ako.

PRODMAN: classmate ko si tintiners at si carla. mga mates ko sa quatech pahirap. hanggang prodman naman, kami pa rin.
LITERA2: classmate ko si mic na 'di ko pa dinadalhan ng chocolates. si raffy nasa class ko din. may mga CBE faces pero 'di namin kaclose. most people, CLA-ers.
ENTEMIS: parang envscan at manpers lang. geof's in my class, as well as si jec and si mong. kaya lang lilipat daw ang dalawang mokong. pray pray pray na 'di na. kelangan ko sila. tapos mukhang magkakanew friends kasi struggle sa prof, haha!
break: gawd, may break ako. haha! i went with trish, phil, and ralen. ang galing, mapapaDBT kada na rin a'ata ako, haha!
RELSFOR: hello blockmates. jig, ponds (missed kalokohan ni ponds!), ken, juno, and dan were all in my class. cinds and gerd were there too.
PARTCOR: not ka-close but keith and merricke are in my class and i guess i'll be fine kahit sanchez ang prof kasi ok naman mga makakasama ko. kelangan ko nga lang lumipat ng seat, haha!

then tambaaay sa school. ang sarap talaga ng gabi sa la salle. everytime inaabot ako ng gabi dun, parang ayaw ko na umalis. napatanong tuloy si dad up to what time daw ako. siyempre inamin kong tambay ako. no comment naman siya, haha!

oyeh, may bago na akong thing: phone. 'di nga lang galing states. at baka magbago na din ako ng SIM card dahil nabuburaot na ako maghintay na matanggal ng Globe ang roaming ko. ubusin ko muna ang load ko kakatawag sa mga tao. tapos.. pwede na ako bumili ng bagong SIM, wahaha!

crush hunting at the moment. mahirap na mag-stick sa bawal. haaay.

tomorrow we leave the land of cold-but-no-snow. but it would not be us three, shark, burth, and i. it would only me and shark. it dawned to me last night that for five months or even a whole year (depending on the flight arrangements), we would not see burth. and it kind of teared me up. okay, it teared me up a lot.

she's only two birth years younger than me and one school year younger. through the years, we had friends from school who were both ours, despite the year level. most of the time, it's me with the younger ones, haha! oh yes, there were gimiks out - a lot of 'em.

the funny thing about her is she shared heartache. and when i say that, i mean my heartache. when i was left and i was crying while telling her my story, she cried with me. when it was not meant to be (at least i think so) and i was tearful while telling my story, she teared up with me. sisters sistars, what can i say?

this is the first time that we'll be apart for a really long time. even the thought that we would be all together again after a year isn't enough to console for the nights and days with no chichi updates from all three of us.

this is what one gets for being too close with her sisters, haha!

taena!

sina chino pala may-ari ng unschooled clothing! i dunno who else ang kasama niya but this is what happened kasi. i was invited by this unschooled clothing sa multiply. to be my classmate ha, not a business contact like the usual nagbebenta ng clothes. tapos nakita kong taga-alabang AT si champ ay ginawa pang model. tapos.. *stalker mode* naisip ko lang hanapin si chino sa friendster pero totally not dahil naisip kong connected siya sa unschooled. whoot! shoutout ba naman eh check out daw unschooled sa multiply.

labooo.

nice ang statements ng shirts, lalo na yung likod ng backstabbed shirt nila, but yung shirt nila ay hindi artwork-like. sorry naman, biased again pero ganung kind kasi sana gusto ko. pero maglalabas daw sila ng hoodies and caps! and since i'm with this hoodie-cap-sneaks fever right now (dahil 'ata sa clandestine), i am sooo waiting for that! cross fingers na maganda mga ilalabas nila :D

hmm.. wonder if si chino makikipagmeet up if ever?

i just spent the last day (two days?) hopping on and off planes and seeing airports. my mom paid agents to take care of us and our papers while we go around the various airports. the one from NAIA is a lasallian through and through - GH then taft. the one from nagoya, japan is the female version of billy martin of good charlotte. i was like staring at her because i couldn't figure out why she looked so familiar then i almost burst out laughing when i realized whom she looked like. then we got stuck on the plane for about 11 hours before we touched down in detroit. another agent met us and we got through the immigration okay. the agent sent us to the UM (unaccompanied minors) room where there was free snacks. i was in junk food heaven, haha! another agent got us to the plane an hour later and after about two hours, we were in baltimore!

ooh, i just remembered: my sisters and i were supposed to be seated at the economy seats through every plane ride. however, the plane crew were so nice that they transferred us to the world business class just because. the seats were looove - personal monitors for movies of our choice, super alaga kami, then super spacious. yum.

i so miss the philippines already. my dad sounded teary over the phone but so was i, hahaha! and him. and PNK. and la salle. rar. mom checked our passports and when she saw what was nakastamp there, she also said na mukha ngang makakauwi kami agad. at least that made me a bit happier. sana nga. i cannot stay here. it's fun shopping for clothes and seeing new places but it's so damn cold. i might go back na lang on summers. i can't believe it but they can wear sleeveless pala here on summer. kewl. i thought this was like snowland. people, walang snow here! well, wala pa. sa detroit meron. i want to touch snow. fall, please please please!

ps: i am doing this via the wifi powers of some JOSH guy. thank goodness for free things. ;)

sisters are blessings.
they're always good listeners..
especially when you're already breaking down.

i vowed that i was going to be strong about this.
apparently, i can't do it.
this is going to take more than chocolate bars,
a cry fest,
and time away from him.

do not ask me why this is happening to me
because i cannot explain it myself.
it's only been a month
and already,
i'm here, semi-damaged.

and you know what sucks the most?
that it could have been something wonderful
if only i am not what i am..
or he isn't what he is.

sana alien na lang pala kami.
charing.

seriously,
why do i put myself through this?

if only you weren't so nice,
so concerned,
so thoughtful,
so.. sweet,
so open to me,
so easy to talk to,
and very accepting of my quirks..
then maybe i wouldn't like you so much.

i wish i could just pack you in my luggage
and
take you with me.
then maybe we can just forget what everyone says
and
do what we want.

pero asa.
masyado kasi tayong mabait na mga bata..
at isa pa, hindi ka 'ata kasya sa maleta ko. ;)

the worst thing about this?
i can't even EAT.
i somehow lost my appetite along the way.
sigh.

*dearies, ume-emo lang nang wala sa lugar. na medyo kailangan ko lang talaga magsalita because as of now, i'm not very nice to talk to. nawawala brain ko. puro mata ko lang at ilong nagfufunction.*